Want a Peaceful Parting? Mediation Can Lead to Lasting Resolutions

If you are facing a divorce or another family law struggle, like child support or alimony, the thought of heading to court probably sends you into a mental tailspin. Along with the stress of changing life circumstances, you’re not looking forward to sky-high legal bills and a long, drawn-out, painful litigation battle.

But, take a breath. There’s another way to resolve family law disputes: more peaceful, less expensive, and less time-consuming. Mediation lets you and the other party decide about your future to reach a mutually acceptable agreement and avoid court. This process allows you to be heard in a respectful and supportive environment under the guidance of a trained mediator.

Read on to learn why more couples and families choose mediation for a smoother, less stressfull separation or to navigate a family law issue. This alternative dispute resolution approach can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartache.

What’s Mediation?

Mediation is a way to resolve family law disputes without going to court. In divorce mediation, a neutral third party helps you and your spouse (or other family member) agree on how to resolve issues without a long legal battle. Your trained mediator will guide your discussions and help you find common ground. (The mediator does not give you legal advice, so it is a good idea to have your attorney ready to offer suggestions.)

If you and the other party agree, the mediator creates a confidential and not legally binding Memorandum of Understanding. This document helps both parties work toward a final settlement. To make mediation work, you and your attorney must be prepared, focused, and willing to compromise. The outcome of mediation depends on your readiness to negotiate and find solutions together.

The Benefits of Mediation For Your Divorce

Here are six attractive benefits of using mediation for a divorce or resolving another family law issue:

1. Cost-effective: If the thought of high legal bills keeps you up at night, mediation is often less expensive than going to court, as it typically requires fewer legal fees and less time to resolve.
2. More control and flexibility: Many people fear the thought of a judge deciding their future lifestyle. Instead, mediation allows the divorcing parties to have more control over the outcome and to develop creative solutions tailored to their specific needs rather than having a judge make decisions for them.
3. Less conflict: When you are going through a contentious family law issue, emotions are typically running high. Mediation can help reduce conflict between the parties by encouraging open communication and cooperation. This can be especially beneficial when you have children together. Plus, mediation can help preserve your relationship with the other party for the long term.
4. Confidentiality: Mediation may give you more peace of mind if you do not want details about your private life getting out in court. These proceedings are confidential, which means that discussions and agreements you and the other party make during mediation can’t be used against either party in court.
5. A faster resolution: Along with high legal fees, people dread a lengthy court battle. Mediation can often lead to a quicker resolution of the divorce process than litigation, which can be lengthy and time-consuming.
6. A focus on long-term solutions: Mediation encourages parties to focus on agreements everyone can live with and mutually acceptable compromises rather than “winning” or “losing” in court.

We Answer the Most Common Questions We Hear About Mediation

Are you curious about mediation? Here, we address the most frequently asked questions to illuminate this alternative approach to resolving conflicts.

Q. How is divorce mediation different from litigation?
A. In a traditional court case, the court sets strict rules and timelines. These cases follow specific rules for presenting evidence and sharing information during discovery. On the other hand, mediation is more flexible. It allows you and the other party more say in settling your divorce or dispute.

Q. Do I need to choose a divorce mediator who’s also an attorney?
A. Not necessarily. However, depending on your unique situation, we recommend retaining an attorney to accompany you to your mediation session. Many people do not realize that a mediator cannot give you advice during your mediation session. That’s why having an attorney (also a divorce mediator) give you legal suggestions during these meetings is a wise idea.

Q. Does mediation actually work?
A. Our answer? It depends. However, mediation can work for most people and situations. People who don’t want the court to determine their family’s future path during litigation are more willing to engage in mediation. Mediation empowers you to come up with your solutions, whether via a court-ordered or private process.

Q. Is mediation a fast process?
A. Sometimes, you can resolve your matter in just one two-hour session if it’s not complex. Many people negotiate an agreement in two or three mediation sessions. The key is that both parties come to the table with the same goal: to resolve their issues as quickly, amicably, and mutually beneficial as possible.

Q. Does mediation cost a lot less than going to court?
A. In New Jersey, the average cost of divorcing is around $12,500, including legal fees, court costs, and other expenses. However, mediation is usually much lower than litigation since it’s a much faster process.

Q. What’s the mediator’s role in this process?
A. The mediator will listen to each party’s concerns and goals and guide you as you negotiate and fashion their agreement. The mediator is there to help you resolve your issues, not to offer you legal advice.

Q. What happens during the mediation process?
A. First, your mediator will explain the mediation process and goals to everyone in the room, which could include you, your attorney, the other party, and their attorney. Next, you and the other party discuss issues you’d like to resolve in the mediation session. Your mediator will facilitate an open discussion where you and the other party work toward negotiating an agreement. Once you’ve agreed, your mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding.

Remember, mediation aims to arrive at an amicable resolution to your family law issue as quickly and efficiently as possible. Going to court can be costly, emotionally traumatic, and take up much of your time. Mediation can help you reach a mutually beneficial agreement – and even preserve your relationship with the other party.

Q. What issues can I discuss in mediation with my ex-spouse?
A. Almost anything can be negotiated in mediation, including issues involving child custody, child support, parenting time, college tuition contributions, alimony, and equitable distribution of property.

Q. How do I decide if I should try mediation?
A. Using mediation to agree with your spouse or family member is an individual decision. It is a smart idea to discuss the option with your attorney and the other parties involved. If you’re both amenable to mediation, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t try it.

Nearly all family law cases settle with a mediator’s help. The good news is that you can turn to mediation before filing for divorce or even in the middle of litigation when you want to work things out differently.

Q. Can mediation work for couples who do not get along?
A. Sometimes, the court will order you to enter mediation. If you and your spouse have a contentious relationship, there’s a process called caucusing. The mediator will meet with the spouses (or family members) and go between the parties to discuss the issues. If the spouses can’t be in the same room, the mediator can do shuttle diplomacy by going back and forth between conference rooms to meet with the parties individually.

Mediation is not Just for Divorces

Besides divorce, mediation offers a flexible and collaborative approach to resolving a host of family law issues, allowing parties to work together to find solutions that meet their unique needs and circumstances. Here are some of the situations where mediation can help your family:

• Child custody and parenting time: Mediation can help co-parents create a parenting plan that outlines custody arrangements and parenting time schedules that are in the child’s best interests.
• Child support: You and your co-parent can use mediation to negotiate and agree upon child support payments, taking into account the child’s financial needs and each parent’s ability to pay.
• Alimony: Divorcing spouses can reach a fair agreement regarding spousal support payments, including the amount and duration.
• Division of assets and debts: Who gets the china set? Who drives away with the Mustang? Mediation can help you and your spouse reach a mutually acceptable agreement about marital assets and debts without court intervention.
• Modification of court orders: If you need to modify existing court orders related to custody, visitation, child support, or spousal support when your life circumstances change, mediation can make the process go more smoothly.
• Parenting plan disputes: Mediation can help resolve disagreements between parents regarding implementing a parenting plan or other child-related issues.
• Paternity disputes: If you are involved in a dispute regarding your child’s paternity, including issues related to parental rights and responsibilities, this process can help you reach a resolution faster.
• Elder care and guardianship: Mediation can help families resolve disputes related to the care and guardianship of elderly or incapacitated family members.

Consider Mediation Before Going to Court

While mediation is not suitable for every couple or family, it can be a good option if you and your spouse can communicate openly and honestly and are willing to work towards a compromise on the terms of your divorce. However, to maximize your chances of having a productive and fruitful mediation session, you should hire a competent and experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer from Lawrence Law to guide you.

Contact the Experienced Family Law Attorneys at Lawrence Law for Guidance About Using Mediation

Divorce mediation is one of the best ways to dissolve your marriage peacefully. If you think mediation is right, contact a divorce mediator from Lawrence Law today.

Fortunately, you’re in the right place! Lawrence Law proudly handles cases for our clients throughout New Jersey.

Call (908) 645-1000 to schedule a consultation or fill out our confidential contact form. Our offices are conveniently located in Watchung and Red Bank, NJ. If you need assistance with child custody or parenting time issues, don’t hesitate to contact us today.

The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you’re seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.