Financial Abuse in Domestic Violence

Financial Abuse Is Domestic Abuse — Here’s How to Protect Yourself in NJ

Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence that is often overlooked — but it is one of the most powerful tools of control an abuser can use. Whether it is withholding money, restricting access to bank accounts, preventing you from working or racking up debt in your name, financial abuse can leave victims feeling powerless.

In New Jersey, there are legal steps you can take to protect yourself, regain control of your finances, and begin to rebuild. If you believe you or a loved one is experiencing financial abuse, here is what you need to know — and how to start securing a safer future.

Is Financial Abuse a Form of Domestic Violence?

Financial abuse is a more subtle and less visible form of domestic abuse. It is a way for an abuser to control and isolate their victim, often a partner, by limiting their access to funds, thwarting their financial stability, and forcing dependency.

This type of abuse is usually part of a larger pattern alongside physical, emotional or psychological abuse. While financial abuse can happen on its own, it is usually part of a larger abusive dynamic.

For example, abusers might:

• Control the victim’s access to money, including credit or debit cards
• Take action to prevent the victim from working or earning money
• Steal the victim’s personal money, accounts or assets
• Limit or deny access to necessities like food, transportation, or healthcare.

Since funds are a key part of living independently and safely, financial abuse can trap a victim in an abusive relationship or living situation. That means it is harder for the victim to seek help or leave.

Watch Out for These Forms of Financial Abuse

Below are some clear examples of financial abuse that you may recognize in your own life or someone close to you.

1. They take absolute control over the household finances.This can look like:

• Demanding access to all your bank accounts and monitoring every transaction
• Refusing to share information about household income, bills, or savings with you
• Requiring you to hand over your paycheck or denying your access to it altogether.

The abuser may say things like:

• “I need to see everything you are spending. Remember, it is my money too.”
• “There is no reason for you to know how much we make or what is in the account. I am handling it.”
• “You would not understand how the finances work, so do not worry about it.”

Just a note here: This scenario is different from one financially literate spouse who manages the household budget when both spouses agree in a spirit of teamwork and transparency.

2. They restrict your access to money.

• Giving you a limited allowance and requiring you to ask permission for any purchases
• Refusing to allow you to have a debit or credit card or a checking account with a checkbook
• Preventing you from working or interfering with your ability to keep a job (e.g., hiding car keys, making you late, calling your workplace).

The abuser may say things like:

• “You do not need a debit card. Just ask me if you need something.”
• “You were late again! Maybe you are not cut out for this job anyway.”
• “If you really loved the kids, you would stay home and stop chasing a career and money.”

Again, this does not apply in a healthy household where the spouses agree that one person will work at a job and the other will manage the household and care for the children.

3. They damage or ruin your financial position.

• Opening credit cards or taking out loans in your name without your knowledge or consent
• Running up debt and hurting your credit score
• Selling or pawning your personal belongings without your knowledge or permission.

The abuser may say things like:

• “I opened a card in your name because mine was maxed out, so what is the big deal?”
• “Credit scores do not matter unless you plan to leave me.”
• “I sold your laptop. We needed the money, and you were not using it.”
• “I will handle the taxes and loans. You would not know how to do it right anyway.”

4. They try to block your career or education opportunities.

• Pressuring or forcing you to quit your job or drop out of school before getting your degree or certification
• Harassing you at work to cause you to lose your job
• Preventing you from applying for jobs, attending interviews, or opening a checking/savings account.

The abuser may say things like:

• “You are too busy with the house and kids to take on a job or go back to school.”
• “I do not want strangers around you at work. Stay home where it is safe.”
• “Why are you trying to get a job? Are you planning to leave me?”
• “I called your work because you didn’t answer me. You need to be more available.”
• “There’s no point in going to school. You will just waste our money and drop out.”

5. They disguise their financial control as “help.”

• Insisting on handling all financial matters because they say you are “not smart with money”
• Making major financial decisions without involving or informing you.

The abuser may say things like:

• “I did not tell you I changed banks because it is not important. You are too stressed already.”
• “I took out that loan for us. It is better if I make the big financial decisions.”
• “You should be thanking me. I am the only reason we are not drowning in debt.”

Financial abuse is rarely about money itself — it’s about control. And because financial stability is key to personal independence, this type of abuse can make it incredibly difficult for victims to leave unsafe situations.

Legal Protections in New Jersey Against Financial Abuse

​If you live in New Jersey, the state does provide legal protection for people suffering from financial abuse within the context of domestic violence situations.

The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, enacted by the New Jersey Legislature in 1991, recognizes domestic violence as a serious crime against society and provides legal protection for victims of abuse by spouses, cohabitants, family members, or caretakers.

The law identifies various forms of abuse as valid grounds for obtaining a restraining order, allowing victims to seek legal remedies and prevent further financial exploitation. While the Act primarily addresses physical and emotional abuse, it can also apply to certain forms of financial abuse, depending on the circumstances and behaviors involved.

New Jersey law also recognizes “coercive control” when considering the acts of domestic violence. This form of control includes behaviors that isolate, scare or control a victim, including financial manipulation. This means that victims of financial abuse have protections, and they can seek legal help even if there’s no physical violence.

Financial abuse victims can also sue civilly for monetary compensation to recover stolen funds or receive damages for financial losses caused by the abuser.

If you or someone you know is a victim of a financial abuse situation, consulting with an attorney who has experience with domestic violence cases can help you understand your legal options. These include obtaining restraining orders, pursuing civil remedies, and accessing additional resources to ensure safety and financial independence.

Ways to Maintain Financial Independence and Security

If you are concerned that you might be in danger of financial abuse or simply want to create a financial foundation, here are eight things you can do to start protecting yourself today.

1. Open at least one personal account. Even if you share joint accounts and household expenses, maintain at least one personal checking and savings account in your name only. That gives you access to funds no one else can control or take.
2. Build and monitor your credit. Check your credit score regularly using a site like AnnualCreditReport.com. Use and pay off at least one credit card in your name monthly. You can also place alerts or freezes on your credit to prevent someone from opening accounts in your name.
3. Know where to access important documents. Keep the originals or copies of your Social Security card, birth certificate, bank records, tax returns, and passwords in a secure place—ideally outside the home (a trusted person or safety deposit box.
4. Get educated about financial matters. No matter where you are in your financial literacy journey, you can learn how to budget, pay bills, manage money, and invest. Use online tools or work with a financial counselor to stay informed and confident about your decisions.
5. Set up an emergency fund. Set aside a small amount each month to build up over time. If needed, you can set up automatic transfers into a separate account.
6. Consider shared assets and joint accounts carefully. Do not add someone who may not be trustworthy to your bank, accounts, credit cards, or property titles. Once you share assets, it is harder to protect or reclaim them during a domestic violence conflict.
7. Look for red flags. Watch for signs of financial control, such as a partner wanting to “take over the bills,” pressuring you to quit your job, or asking for access to your accounts and passwords in a way that feels uncomfortable.
8. Consult an attorney if you have concerns. If you are married or in a relationship and see signs of financial abuse, a knowledgeable family law attorney can help you understand how to protect your assets, especially if abuse or divorce occurs later.

You Can Seek Help as a Financial Abuse Victim

Even if you or a loved one have not suffered physical violence, financial abuse and coercive control are a form of domestic violence and are recognized as such under New Jersey law.

Depending on your unique circumstances, you may be able to seek legal help to get stolen funds or assets back, seek restitution, or ensure that your joint assets get divided fairly during a divorce. Contact the knowledgeable domestic abuse attorneys at Lawrence Law to get an assessment of your situation and your legal options.

Reach out for help if you or someone you know is living in a domestic violence situation:

• NJ Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-572-SAFE (7233)
• NJ Coalition to End Domestic Violence: njcedv.org
  

Contact Lawrence Law’s Family Law Attorneys for Help with Financial Abuse

Experiencing financial abuse can leave you feeling trapped, isolated, and unsure of how to move forward — but you are not alone, and legal help is available. Whether your partner is controlling your finances, restricting your access to money, or sabotaging your ability to work, you can take steps to protect yourself.

At Lawrence Law, we understand the sensitive and urgent nature of financial abuse cases. Our attorneys can help you explore protective orders, secure financial disclosures, and take legal action to regain your independence and ensure your safety.

All consultations are confidential, and we understand how important it is to talk safely. If you are worried about being monitored, we can help you plan your next steps discreetly.

Call us today at (908) 645-1000 to schedule a confidential consultation, or fill out our secure contact form. With offices in Watchung and Red Bank, NJ, we’re here to support individuals and families across New Jersey. Take the first step toward protecting your future — reach out now.

The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you are seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.

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Other Resources

Understanding Domestic Abuse Mechanisms and Forms

Leaving An Abusive Relationship

What is Financial Abuse?