Divorce can be a good thing. It can help you move on from an unhealthy relationship and start fresh. Regardless, the process itself can be emotionally challenging, and you may grieve over the loss of your marriage.
While it is normal to feel sad, scared, or angry in the wake of your divorce, there are things you can do to help yourself heal and move on. With time, a commitment to self-care, and help from a divorce lawyer, you can emerge from your divorce stronger and happier than ever before. Here’s how.
Just as you would after any significant loss, give yourself time to grieve. This means accepting that you are feeling pain and letting yourself feel it, rather than trying to push it away. Cry if you need to, and allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions you are feeling.
It can be helpful to write in a journal or to talk to a therapist during this time. Doing so can help you process your emotions and start to make sense of what has happened.
As you grieve, you will likely find that your emotions start to shift and change. At first, you may feel numb or in shock. This is followed by sadness, anger, and finally, acceptance.
The initial realization that the end of your marriage may be imminent can throw you into a tailspin. While you may be eager to put the legal aspects of your divorce behind you, it is important not to rush the process.
This is a crucial time to have a clear head, so take your time in making decisions about property division, child custody, and other important matters. After you have given yourself the time and space to sift through your emotions, you will be in a better place to make sound decisions about your future.
If you must move forward with the legal side of your divorce while emotions are still raw, you may want to consult with a divorce attorney to help guide you through the process. They can offer a perspective you may not have considered and help you avoid making decisions you may regret later.
When you leave your divorce to the court system, you are giving up a lot of control. The decisions made about your future will be out of your hands, and the process can drag on for months or even years. If you want to maintain some control over the outcome of your divorce, ask your family law attorney about the possibility of a collaborative divorce. This may mean letting go of any desire to “win” in the divorce, but it can help you and your spouse reach an agreement more amicably.
In a collaborative divorce, both parties have their own divorce attorneys who will work together with their clients to come to an agreement on all aspects of the divorce. This can include property division, child custody, and support arrangements. Other professionals can be involved as well.
The goal is to reach a settlement that works for both parties involved, rather than leaving it up to the court to decide. Taking this approach can be healthier emotionally, allowing you to move on more quickly and without the residual bitterness that can come from a traditional divorce.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself after a divorce is to practice forgiveness—both of yourself and your ex-spouse. It can be easy to spend time dwelling on the negative aspects of your marriage and what went wrong. However, this will only keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving on.
Instead, focus on forgiving yourself for any mistakes you may have made in the marriage. This includes forgiving yourself for any role you may have played in the divorce. It can be helpful to talk to a therapist about this process. They can help you work through any feelings of guilt or shame you may be experiencing.
Forgiving your ex-spouse is also an important step in the divorce recovery process. This doesn’t mean you need to be friends – the goal is to release any anger or resentment you may be holding onto. This can be a difficult process, but it is necessary for your emotional well-being long-term.
The aftermath of a divorce can be a lonely time. You may have lost friends who were also friends of your former spouse. You may also find that your family dynamic has changed, and you no longer have the support you once did.
One of the best things you can do for yourself during this time is to create a support system of your own. This may include friends, family members, and neighbors. These people can offer you the emotional support you need to get through this difficult time.
It can also be helpful to join a support group for people going through a divorce. This can provide you with a sense of community and allow you to share your experiences with others who understand what you are going through.
During and after your divorce, your body may be going through some changes. You may find that you are more stressed than usual, which can lead to physical health problems. It is essential to focus on taking care of yourself during this time.
This means eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. It may also mean taking breaks when you need them, doing things that make you happy, and passing on some of the more challenging tasks on your to-do list to a professional, such as a family lawyer. Taking care of yourself will help you to feel better physically and emotionally and will give you the strength you need to get through this difficult time.
The body often holds on to stress and trauma. If you find yourself struggling to fall asleep, having regular nightmares, or feeling constantly on edge, consider talking to a therapist or practicing mindfulness meditation. These can help to release the stress you are holding onto and allow you to heal emotionally.
The trajectory of your life may have changed after your divorce. You may need to make some changes in order to achieve the goals you have for yourself. This may include going back to school, changing jobs, or moving to a new location.
It is important to take the time to figure out what you want for your life as a newly single person. No matter what your goals are, remember that you have the power to create the life you want for yourself. You can achieve anything you set your mind to, even after a divorce.
You may need to take a more practical approach to certain aspects of post-divorce life. For example, if you are sharing custody of your children with your ex-spouse, you will need to figure out a parenting schedule that works for everyone. Working with a divorce lawyer can help you to create a parenting plan that meets the needs of your family.
Ultimately, having a family law attorney on your side will give you the best chance of achieving your goals in the divorce process and in your post-divorce life. A good lawyer will advocate for your rights, help you to negotiate a fair settlement, and protect your interests both during and after the divorce. If you are going through a divorce in New Jersey, Lawrence Law is here for you. Contact our offices in Watchung and Red Bank today at 908-645-1000 to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced family lawyers.