Should You Modify Your Parenting Plan Before the Holidays?

The holiday season is often a time of joy, celebration, and family traditions—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also be one of the most emotionally and logistically challenging times of the year. Parenting plans, which are court-approved agreements outlining how co-parents share custody and responsibilities, play a crucial role in maintaining peace and clarity. But as the holidays approach, you may find yourself asking: Should I modify my parenting plan before the holidays?

Here is what you need to consider before making a decision.

Is Your Current Plan Working for the Holidays?

Many parenting plans include specific holiday schedules that override the regular custody arrangement. However, families evolve—kids get older, traditions change, and parents may move or remarry. Ask yourself:

Does the current schedule reflect your child’s needs and preferences?
Are there conflicts with travel plans, school breaks, or family gatherings?
Are both parents satisfied with the current arrangement?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” it might be time to revisit the plan.

Flexibility vs. Formality

Some co-parents manage holiday arrangements with informal agreements, trusting each other to communicate and adjust as needed. Others find it more helpful to have every detail documented and enforceable.

If informal agreements have worked in the past but you are sensing tension this year—or if one parent is suddenly less cooperative—it may be safer to formalize any changes. A modified parenting plan can help avoid last-minute disputes and reduce stress for everyone involved, especially the children.

Legal Considerations

Modifying a parenting plan is about agreeing with your co-parent. If there is not an agreement, a court will make the decision. This is especially true for significant changes or if one parent doesn’t agree to the new terms.

You should consult a family law attorney if:

The other parent will not agree to the change.
You’re considering a permanent change to custody or parenting time.
You anticipate needing court enforcement.

Courts tend to prioritize the best interests of the child. Your proposed changes should support stability, emotional well-being, and family connection.

Timing Matters

Courts can get backed up, especially toward the end of the year. If you are considering modifying your plan for the upcoming holiday season, do not wait until November or December—start early. If you are already close to the holidays, a temporary agreement between both parents (in writing) is faster, more practical short-term solution.

Keep the Kids at the Center

Above all, any changes to your parenting plan should be made with your child’s best interests at heart. Children thrive on routine and knowing what to expect. Disagreements between parents can cause anxiety or sadness during what should be a joyful time.

Consider ways both parents can create meaningful holiday experiences.
Avoid using holiday time as leverage in broader custody disputes.
Be flexible, cooperative and reasonable in addressing the parenting time schedule.

Contact a Lawrence Law Attorney to Modify Your Parenting Plan

The holidays should be a time of comfort and connection. If your current parenting plan feels like more of a burden than a benefit during this season, a thoughtful modification could make a big difference. Whether through legal channels or mutual agreement, being proactive and collaborative can help ensure a smoother, more joyful holiday for everyone—especially your children.