What Divorce Taught Me This Year

This year, divorce taught me more than I expected—about people, about resilience, and about the work we do as family law professionals. Every case, every client, and every family reminded me that while divorce is a legal process, it is also a profoundly human and fragile one.

1. Mediation remains the most powerful tool we have.

More than ever, I have seen that mediation gives families the best chance to move forward with dignity. When clients sit down together, sometimes reluctantly, often anxiously—solutions emerge that no courtroom could ever craft as well. The ability to shape your own outcome rather than hand it over to a judge is not just empowering; it’s stabilizing. This year reaffirmed for me that every effort to stay out of court is worth it.

2. The profession needs to take wellness seriously.

Family law asks us to carry other people’s pain, fear, and uncertainty every day. That weight can take a toll—on attorneys, on staff, on everyone in the room. I have become even more committed to calling for a culture shift in our profession: one where wellness isn’t an afterthought but a foundation. We cannot guide families through their hardest moments if we are depleted ourselves. Humanity must trump efficiency and we need a system that recognizes that notion.

3. Compassion and strategy are not opposites.

I am reminded daily that my role requires both a soft heart and a sharp mind. Clients need someone who listens without judgment, who understands the emotional landscape, who will validate their fears and hopes. But they also need a strategist—someone who can see the path forward, anticipate challenges, and make clear, informed recommendations. This year reinforced that the best advocacy is not loud or aggressive; it is fierce, reasonable, passionate, and grounded in purpose.

4. Humanity matters as much as the law.

Divorce is rarely just about dividing assets or drafting a parenting plan. It’s about transitions, identity shifts, grief, and rebuilding. The more we remember this—truly remember it—the better we serve the people who trust us in their most vulnerable chapters.
Divorce taught me this year to keep advocating for peaceful solutions, to prioritize wellness in our profession, and to lead with both compassion and clarity. If, however, we are unable to settle amicably, we will be fully prepared and committed to prevail in the litigation ahead. And most importantly, it taught me that the work we do has the power not just to end chapters, but to help families begin new ones with hope and stability.