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While New Jersey has the lowest divorce rate in the country, it does not mean that divorces are easy in the state. Some spouses deliberately make it hard for the other spouse by saying no to everything divorce-related.
If you want a divorce but your spouse refuses to cooperate, you are not legally required to stay married. Under New Jersey divorce law, one spouse cannot prevent a divorce by saying no or by refusing to sign papers. Courts can grant a divorce even if one party refuses to participate in the process.
Many people worry that an uncooperative spouse can delay or block the divorce entirely. While refusal can make the process longer or more complex, New Jersey law protects your right to end your marriage.
Below, we explain what happens if a spouse refuses a divorce in New Jersey, your legal options, and how the court handles contested cases.
For various reasons, some people just will not agree to a divorce. They might think that saying no gives them some element of power, but a person cannot force you to stay married to them. New Jersey laws do not buy into that narrative, and there is no legal way for a spouse to prevent a divorce in New Jersey.
There is always a way out if you want it, although a mutual agreement is generally the best way. You have options if the other spouse simply refuses to talk about a divorce.
New Jersey courts recognize that individuals have the right to leave a marriage that is no longer workable. If one spouse wants a divorce, the court can move forward regardless of whether the other spouse agrees or cooperates.
In some cases, you may have had divorce negotiations with the other spouse, only for them to be recalcitrant. They may simply refuse to agree to anything, no matter how much you try to compromise. There is a limit on how you need to or should even try to come to an agreement. While you have certainly acted admirably to resolve your divorce case, you are running into a brick wall with your spouse.
Other spouses may view the decision to agree to a divorce as giving up control over the relationship. This is often a hallmark in abusive relationships that center on a power dynamic between the spouses. One party may threaten the other and tell them that they will never let the other leave. New Jersey law does not allow one party to use refusal as leverage to force the other to remain in the marriage.
When a spouse refuses to cooperate, the divorce typically becomes contested. However, the court (not your spouse) ultimately decides whether the divorce will be granted.
New Jersey is a “no-fault” divorce state, meaning you do not need to prove wrongdoing to end your marriage. “Fault” essentially refers to a need to prove that your spouse did something wrong leading up to the divorce. This would include adultery or extreme cruelty.
The most common grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences. Irreconcilable differences mean:
Because fault does not need to be proven, your spouse’s refusal does not stop the process. Courts can grant a divorce based solely on the breakdown of the marriage, even if the other party disagrees.
A common concern is whether a spouse can stop a divorce by refusing to sign paperwork. The answer is no.
If your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in New Jersey:
Refusing to sign documents does not give your spouse veto power over the divorce. It may delay the process, but it cannot stop it.
If your spouse ignores the divorce complaint or fails to respond after being served, the court may enter a default judgment.
A default divorce in New Jersey means:
Because a default judgment can significantly affect their rights, courts strongly encourage spouses to respond. However, failure to participate does not prevent the divorce from moving forward.
The one thing that you should not do is sacrifice or surrender any of your legal rights in exchange for getting the other spouse to agree to a divorce. You do not have to do that when the law entitles you to a divorce.
There is a possibility that the other spouse could be playing games to get a better deal. In any event, you do not have to yield anything to them. Working with a family law attorney, you can get out of the marriage without having to make unreasonable concessions just to persuade the spouse to agree to a divorce.
If the other spouse is being completely uncooperative, the law puts matters in the court’s hands. This means that your spouse does not have any veto power or the ability to keep you locked into a marriage to extract better terms.
At a certain point, if you are getting nowhere in your discussions with your spouse, you and your divorce lawyer will be faced with a decision. While a divorce hearing is an option, you should know that it will come at a cost. A family lawyer costs money, and a hearing takes time.
However, you may need to put your case into the hands of a judge because your spouse has left you with no other choice. Your spouse may decide to participate in the process at that point, or they could continue to refuse to engage. However, if they respond to the court papers, it could impact how long your divorce takes.
If your spouse is summoned to appear in court, it is in their best interests to show up and have their voice heard. Otherwise, they could be subject to a default judgment, and the results may not be pleasant for them, as the court order could rule on things without them having their say. A judge may decide:
The judge would only be looking at paperwork and testimony that only you put in front of them, so the record may end up being one-sided. In the end, the court can grant a divorce and decide all major issues even if your spouse never shows up or files one response to court papers.
There is nothing that says that the other spouse must voluntarily agree to a divorce or negotiate terms with you. Nonetheless, you are better off if you can reach an agreement with your spouse and not have to go to court. You can discuss options for how best to accomplish this with your divorce attorney.
Working together with your family law attorney, you may be able to find ways to increase the legal pressure on your spouse to make them want to talk. Otherwise, you would need to proceed through the courts. Nonetheless, your first choice would be to stay out of court, although that is not entirely under your control.
The best thing is to consult with a divorce lawyer when you first begin to consider ending your marriage. Contact a New Jersey divorce attorney at Lawrence Law at (908) 645-1000 to schedule your initial consultation. Our Red Bank and Watchung family lawyers are ready to assist you.
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