Top Reasons to Consider Filing for a Divorce

5 Reasons to Get a Divorce

While counseling can be very effective at helping spouses rediscover the great aspects of their relationship, it won’t work for every marriage. In 2020, there were hundreds of thousands of divorces in the United States that occurred because the marriage was no longer salvageable. If you’ve been weighing your options, there are many legitimate reasons why divorce may be preferable instead of trying to make the marriage work.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

Among the most serious problems that may be cause for a divorce are physical and emotional abuse. Any form of abuse goes against the very reason that couples marry in the first place. Physical abuse doesn’t always leave noticeable signs but is a top reason for divorce. It’s practically impossible for spouses to work through this type of issue.

Emotional abuse can involve everything from guilt trips to name-calling. In certain scenarios, someone who emotionally abuses their spouse might not realize it. However, emotional abuse is often used as a form of control. Some couples will remain married under the belief that the emotional abuse can be endured. Getting out of an abusive marriage is a much healthier solution.

Keep in mind that domestic violence is considered to be a contributing factor for divorce by one partner in more than a quarter of all divorcing couples, according to a U.S. survey. Among the participants who listed domestic abuse as a key contributor to the divorce, around 40% of their partners agreed.

In many cases, abuse develops gradually before intensifying at various periods of time. Eventually, the abuse could become so severe that the problem can only be resolved by seeking a divorce. If you’re considering filing for a divorce, it’s highly recommended that you request the services of a family law attorney who will provide you with the representation you deserve.

Substance Abuse

Another top reason to get a divorce is when one spouse is regularly abusing illicit substances. Whether the spouse in question started taking a higher dosage of a prescription medication or began to abuse recreational drugs, substance abuse can eventually lead to the affected individual disregarding their responsibilities and spending too much of their money to obtain the substances that they’ve become addicted to.

If your spouse has become addicted to alcohol or drugs, getting a divorce may be the only option at your disposal. It’s common for individuals who are affected by substance abuse to avoid admitting that they have a problem. In this situation, the individual may lose focus on their relationship because of their dependence on drugs or alcohol. There are numerous signs that indicate your spouse may be affected by a substance use disorder, the primary of which include:

  • Secretive behavior
  • Mood swings
  • Hygiene, sleep, and appetite changes
  • Difficulties with memory/attention
  • Regularly needing extra money
  • Paranoia
  • Abandoning familiar activities and friends
  • Neglecting family/work responsibilities


Another reason why you might want to consider getting a divorce is because of general incompatibility with your spouse. While irreconcilable differences is a top reason why people seek a divorce even if it doesn’t perfectly describe their situation, there are times when couples have too many differences to overcome. This general form of incompatibility could be because of:

  • Not having shared values
  • Religious differences
  • Sexual incompatibility
  • Growing apart

Many couples who get married in their early 20’s find that they grow apart as they get older and learn more about themselves. You might also be able to continue living with your spouse and learn to enjoy the differences. However, shared priorities and interests are typically required for a successful marriage.

Keep in mind that this incompatibility could also involve a lack of commitment from one spouse. If one spouse is attempting to save the marriage but the other isn’t trying, it may be impossible to save the marriage. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t hesitate to get in touch with a divorce lawyer to begin the process of filing for a divorce.

If lack of commitment is the reason for the divorce, proving this issue can be challenging. Some of the outward signs of a lack of commitment include an extramarital affair, not talking about the relationship, and not attempting to reach shared financial goals. Since there are numerous underlying causes for a lack of commitment, irreconcilable differences is a primary reason that divorcing couples will cite on their paperwork.

Financial Incompatibility

Even though there are many reasons for incompatibility for a married couple, among the most common ones involve financial issues, which can place a notable strain on the marriage that may be impossible to resolve. Having a fight over money every now and then doesn’t automatically mean that you and your spouse are financially incompatible. However, once these issues start to lead to constant arguments, it may be a sign that you and your spouse will never find compatibility when it comes to finances.

The signs of financial incompatibility are relatively easy to identify if you know what you’re looking for. If you or your spouse is keeping secrets or lying about major purchases and financial decisions, there’s likely a reason. When one spouse feels as though they need to make purchases in secret, it’s a sign of incompatibility.

When spouses have a joint bank account, financial incompatibility may be an issue if one spouse makes a large withdrawal from this account without telling the other. If you’re unable to speak regularly about your financial situation with your spouse, this is another indication that you might be financially incompatible.

The same is true if you set various financial goals together but one spouse keeps making purchases and spending money in a manner that makes these financial goals impossible to reach. There are times when one spouse will refuse to set financial goals because they spend too much money. Because of how much strain financial issues can place on a marriage, it’s better to be on the same page as your spouse when it comes to finances.

You can also have a situation where one spouse does not carry their weight financially and all the financial pressure falls on the other spouse. This can lead to trouble as well.

Having a low shared income increases the likelihood that you’ll have difficulties with paying bills or making monthly rent payments, which can make arguments with your spouse more serious if you aren’t financially compatible with them. Speak with a New Jersey family lawyer today if you believe that now is the right time for you to file for a divorce. We’ll guide you through every stage of this process.


Yet another reason that getting a divorce may be the best option for you is if your spouse displays a considerable amount of passivity in their day-to-day actions. While physical abuse, emotional abuse, and substance abuse are easier to identify, passivity can also cause a marriage to effectively fall apart. When a couple gets married, the purpose of this marriage is for each spouse to be a partner who the other spouse can rely on. If your spouse is emotionally unavailable and won’t take steps to remedy the issue, there isn’t much that can be done for the marriage aside from seeking a divorce.

If you’re currently married but believe that now is the right time for you to file for a divorce, contact our New Jersey divorce attorney today at (908) 645-1000 to schedule a consultation and determine what your next steps should be. You can also email us at info@lawlawfirm.com.

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